Nothing Insightful

I have nothing insightful to write about today. I haven't blogged for a while because I haven't had my Internet at home and the one here at work was down. Oh, BTW, I am allowed to blog at work, even on the clock, because I work nights and I just have to be "here" in case something unusual happens. ANYways, so here's what is been going on lately.
I guess the most significant thing is that on Thursday I got a letter in the mail letting me know that I was to appear in court the next day to finalize my divorce. I never planned on being divorced (who does?) and I did absolutely everything I could to make it work. Sometimes I worry about what other people think and I am tempted to explain the whole doggone thing. On the other hand, the important people know what happened and they love me no matter what. It was painful. It was like losing a leg ~ it was never supposed to happen but it did and now I have to learn how to deal with it. So Friday, I fell off the wagon and went out to eat Mexican food with my friend, Jennifer, and her husband, Bill. We decided we had an "expansion project" going on because after that we went for ice cream. Dedgum! I'm not even supposed to be eating animal products!! I'm so sorry little cows and chickens!! But back to the subject (which I would much rather avoid all together). We had a good time and they made me laugh. But then on Saturday, I woke up around 9 a.m. and went directly to the couch, laid back down, and proceeded to cry until I had a whopping headache. My mother ended up coming to the rescue and I made it through the rest of the day, which included a trip to Dillard's, one of my favorite stores. The point is that now I am divorced and that's pretty scary to me.
Around the same time, I had to meet with my counseling supervisor. We were talking about Freud's concept of "Unfinished Business," which is regarding the fact that some people go through things and then later in life that thing that they went through comes back to bother them because they didn't "finish" it. For example, a little girl is abused and then when she is all grown up the memory of the abuse starts causing problems for her. How does she deal with that unfinished business? As a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, my supervisor explains that we acknowledge the fact that we can not go back and change what happened. We must decide how we want things to be in the future and go forward from this point. That brings to mind a scripture, "Forgetting those things which are behind, I press on..." And from an Existential point of view, one would ask, "How has this event impacted my life and what can I glean from it?" In other words, how can this event (even though it's bad) be used as a tool for growth? God knows what we need to hear at just the right time. I keep hearing that conversation between my supervisor and I over and over and I have decided to pick up from this point on and move forward with my life. I can not change the past and I refuse to be stuck in a pattern of regret. So the alternative is to decide where to go from here and get on with it. As I said in my very first blog, the best is yet to come.