I've been thinking about it and what makes it happen. You know, besides being a little cra-cra in the head... sooo anyway, here are my thoughts about it. I haven't analyzed it THAT much but I think I have a pretty good idea of what is going on.
See, I think I know what is expected of me. On the job, from God, in my marriage, from people in general. And then I try to do it. Because accolades from the world regarding my hard work mean I'm ok. Don't they?? Actually, just being at least as good as other people, doing what other people can do, that is what makes me who I am. And THAT is the problem.
Sometimes I can't do what other people do. Normal things like having babies or getting a great-paying job. Or being the pinnacle of fitness, living up to the Hollywood image. I can't speak in front of people. Ok, I can't even STAND in front of people, let alone speak. I won't list all of my shortcomings because I'm sure you get the picture by now. There are some things that elude me, I'll never be able to do them or have them. The more things that are brought to my attention all at the same time, the more overwhelming it is.
This is what happens when you put value on abilities, looks, money, etc. - instead of putting value on who you are in Christ.The thing is, our value does not go up and down depending on those things. Christ died for us while we were still sinners, when our value (you would think) should have been the lowest. To Him, our value was not low, we were priceless...
You are not getting this, so let me tell it differently...
This is Tug. Tuglet, Tuggles, Snugglebug - that's him there.
He came to me as a stray. He hid under the bed for a couple of weeks but eventually we became inseparable. Someone told me that he is worth about $500. (That's all?!?!) But TO ME, he is invaluable. No amount of money would make me give him up and I would fight for him if I had to. Funny thing is, he doesn't have a job. He actually costs me money. He has some bad habits. He passes gas and belches out loud. He doesn't guard the house while we're gone. He's even bit me before. Sometimes he stinks and he doesn't do any cute tricks like rolling over or shaking hands. Matter of fact, he hasn't ever fathered any children and he will never be able to.
Guess what? I don't even care about all that. Yes, I train him the best I can and hope he catches on. He makes mistakes sometimes and he has never earned a degree. But I love him and will continue to love him until death do us part. Because he is mine.
Don't let the devil trick you into thinking that you are not valuable because of what you don't possess or can't do. It's a lie. God love you and what He thinks you are worth is what you are worth.