Ok, maybe I'm exagerating but I did feel like that. I don't know what was (is) going on but my eye was swollen like someone hit me. My ear was swollen shut and I couldn't hear. Still can't out of that side because of the ringing in my ear. My jaw was sagging on that side and my head hurt. I felt (feel) like a monster. It was not a day I wanted to meet any new people - and that is where the fear began.
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| I'm scared of crowds... |
See, I was supposed to go to a new Sunday school class today and I already have a huge fear of meeting new people, especially a whole crowd of them. I really couldn't do it looking like that.
But I still made it to church. I wondered on the whole drive over what was happening in that side of my face. I was struggling in a way that I haven't for quite some time. All the way to church I kept thinking about the future and "what if" this or "what if that" - fear. By the time I made it to the door, I was really, really tired! And irritable!
But wouldn't you know it, God had already prepared a sermon for me. We worshipped and praised and then sat down for Communion. As the crackers and grape juice (yes, that's how we roll) were passed out, a member of the praise team started singing:
Because He lives, I can face tomorrowI swear, this happens every Sunday. I go in with all these things on my mind and God answers them in one way or another. Pastor Rick's message was about worry and fear also. Let me tell you, I whole-heartedly disagree with this:
Because He lives. All fear is gone.
Because I knowwwwwwww, He holds the futureLife is worth the living just because He lives!
I refuse to live with fear. I refuse to sit down and invite fear to breakfast, dinner, or even a tea-party! Fear isn't welcome in my home or in my head because it takes the joy out of living and clouds the future. I've decided that when fear does try to raise stick his big ugly head in the door, I will have to slam it shut. I already belong to God and anything that comes my way, I can make it through.
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