Monday, March 30, 2009

When Tears Come ~

The tears came again today. I knew for a couple of days that they were probably on their way because I woke up and couldn't figure out what to do with myself. I mean, I had plenty to do, that was not the problem. I had notes to catch up on, the dog to walk, cleaning, laundry, bills to pay, groceries to buy, supervision homework... plenty to do. I started one thing and got distracted and tried another. Consequently, very little got done. My heart was heavy and it was slowing me down. I even resorted to country music. The playlist went something like this:
"How Are You Doin' Since You Did What You Done to Me?"
"Before He Cheats"
"My Give-a-D*mn's Busted"
"He Ain't Worth Missin"
You know, real I'm-so-over-you songs. Then the list took a turn for the worse:
"I Told You So"
"Neon Moon"
"You Lie"
"Here Comes Goodbye"
Those cryin'-in-your-beer songs that make you want to jump off the roof of a 3-story building. I wasn't depressed, I was just out of sorts. And my thinking started going down the wrong road. Poor, poor, pitiful me! And the tears just started coming down and the tension was released and all the sudden my good sense came back to me. I reached beside me and picked up my Bible and opened it up and started reading.
Psalm 71:1-7 (NKJV) 1 In You, O LORD, I put my trust; Let me never be put to shame. 2 Deliver me in Your righteousness, and cause me to escape; Incline Your ear to me, and save me. 3 Be my strong refuge, To which I may resort continually; You have given the commandment to save me, For You are my rock and my fortress. 4 Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, Out of the hand of the unrighteous and cruel man. 5 For You are my hope, O Lord GOD; You are my trust from my youth. 6 By You I have been upheld from birth; You are He who took me out of my mother’s womb. My praise shall be continually of You.
And that is what I did. I decided that God would be the one to whom I continually resort and I will give Him praise. I will lean on Him when I am confused and don't know how to get through the day. When I start thinking those sad thoughts and the tears come, I can remind myself of God's greatness and His knowledge me.

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