Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I got run over by a bus yesterday...

"I was thrown under the bus." Have you ever heard that expression? It generally is said when something happens and someone doesn't want to be blamed for it so they point an accusing finger at you. You were just thrown under the bus. That happened to me recently and I lay there bleeding, so to speak, for the rest of the evening. The wind was sucked out of my sails, the spark left my eye, the hop in my step was gone. And I was angry! To top it all off, the person who threw me under there would not look me in the eye or speak to me. By the time I left for the night, I'd had as much passive aggression as I could take for one day. The list of emotions was long ~ confusion, frustration, hurt, and most of all anger. I breathed a prayer of desperation as I finished up my last minute duties, "God please help me, I don't know how to stop feeling this way, I don't know what to do." A fraction of a scripture went through my head but I could not put it together - something about being nice to those who aren't nice to you. When I got home I spent some time winding down before going to bed and when I lay down I could not stop the emotions from bubbling up. I was worried and anxious and I felt like a fool. I couldn't even pull together a prayer so I said something like this "God, please, I don't know what to say, can you fix it. Good night."
I woke up at 9 this morning and decided it would be a special day. I took my special dog for a special walk. I made special coffee (Hazelnut Cream) that my special friend had given me. Then I sat down with the most special book of all, the Bible. I started reading first in Deuteronomy and came to this verse and it jumped out at me. I'm not trying to take it out of context, but it is a good analogy at this time in my life.

Deuteronomy 2:7 (NKJV) “For the LORD your God has blessed you in all the work of your hand. He knows your trudging through this great wilderness. These forty years the LORD your God has been with you; you have lacked nothing.”

I feel like I have been walking in a wilderness for a while! I have pursued the path that God wants me to pursue and it has had some rough patches. But as the verse says, I have lacked nothing! God has been there for me and given me what I needed to make it through. But then I turned on over to the New Testament and here is what my eyes landed on. Having just been thrown under the bus, these words were quite meaningful for me.

Luke 6 (NKJV) 27 “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. 31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. 32 “But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. 36 Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful. 37 “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”

I want to be right. I have been resistant and easily hurt. I have been trying to figure out how to make things better by doing this thing and that thing. I've been wondering who to trust and laying low to avoid being hurt. But today is a brand new day. Maybe I'm in a wilderness right now but maybe this is where my purpose is at this time. So while I'm here, I will serve my purpose and keep loving the people around me. Keep giving, expecting nothing in return. Keep helping and keep encouraging. Because everything that I do will come back to me in good measure.

No comments:

Post a Comment