Thursday, September 10, 2009

You Can Run, But You Can Not Hide!!

As I was doing my daily Bible study for my FP4H group, something I have been thinking about was reinforced to me. I have always loved this Psalm, but it was the latter part of the Psalm that I loved the most. However, I have now come to love the first part of it just as much. Here it is:
Psalm 139
1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off.
3 You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
5 You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it.
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me.
Now, at one time this part of the Psalm scared the pants off me! If God sees everything I do, then I can't do exactly what I want to do, when I want to do it. I can't go just anywhere or do anything. I can't say just whatever pops into my head and I can't even think stuff because verse 2 says that "You understand my thoughts afar off." And who wants someone constantly hanging over their shoulder, so to speak, and reading their mind?! So, no, I wasn't too thrilled with this part of the chapter. However, I have come to realize that when I started striving to do what God wanted me to do, expected me to do, I was grateful that He saw me and knew my thoughts and desires and the intent of my heart. Lining up with God and His Word brings great blessings. Let me explain what I mean.
For some time I have been desiring a house. I'm tired of apartment living with the noise, the gymnast up above me and the man and his wife below me, yelling at all hours of the night. I'm tired of having to throw money away each month for something that is never going to be mine. So I started looking. And looking. And looking! Thank God for knowing my desires, my thoughts, and my goings and comings. He saw me going to my favorite store (Target) almost every Saturday. He heard me conversing with my accountability partner every week, confessing our struggles, both emotionally and spiritually. He saw me going to supervision at a certain Starbucks every Tuesday where I am guided through the process of becoming a good counselor. And He knew my thoughts when I was hesitant to move to a house that was far from all of the things that I love so much. So guess what?!! He put me in a place that was right across the street from Target (as well as Marshall's and Bath & Body Works)! And the house is also right down the street from that certain Starbucks where I have supervision! And it is also close to my accountability partner so it will be convenient to continue meeting! And it is closer to my parents. And it has a place where Tug can call his own (a back yard, lol). I know a house is a material thing, but it was what I desired and God knew. He also protected me from getting what was not the best because he saw the places I frequent and He knew the desires of my heart.
On a deeper level, I'm sure there are many things that I don't know about and many situations where I need guidance. It is awesome to know that God is there. It's not that I have to call Him to come, He is already there and knows all about it!! No longer am I put off by this Scripture. I am comforted in knowing that God knows all about me and has His hand on me, no matter what.

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