I don't know how this blog is going to come out in the end. I have a lot on my mind and those who know me know that things can get pretty jumbled up in there at times. But anyways, yesterday I saw a poll that caught my eye and I started just thinking about it. I never really came to a conclusion about how it would fit into this blog because, like I said, I have a lot on my mind and I ended up moving on to something else before I could think it through. But here is the question posed:
What is the most frightening thing about being in Antarctica?
Now that probably seems like just a stupid random question but hold on a minute! Here were the choices for the answer:
a) Complete Isolation
b) -60 degrees Celsius temperatures, or
c) 100+ MPH snowstorms
Can you guess what most people said? I had to answer of course before I could see what everyone else said and it took me just a moment to decide between two of the answers. Here is how my train of thought was going:
Well, the temperature being low doesn't really bother me because I can just stay inside and watch movies or bake cookies or, well, whatever. So the answer is not b. Hmmm, right now I wish I could go to Antarctica so I could get away from all this cr*p I'm dealing with right now so I guess I would be most afraid of the snowstorm. Ay ay ay, wait a minute... the snowstorm is really dangerous and scary but if I had someone with me to be scared with, we could deal with it. And I could always get away from the cr*p in a nice place like Cancun. MAN what is the answer?! Wait! Like I said, I could deal with anything if I had someone with me so I guess the thing I would be afraid of is being alone. So the answer for me is a) isolation!!
So I picked answer "a" and guess what? So did 43% of the people who took the poll. 33% said the cold temperature (go figure) and only 24% said they would be afraid of the 100+ MPH snowstorm. Being isolated, alone, all by yourself, deserted, abandoned, solitary, unaccompanied, on your own. Whatever word you use, not having anyone else around - ever - is a frightening thing. I mean, there are times when you need some solitude or just some peace and quiet. A song came to my mind. I'm not a huge Kelly Clarkson fan but she has a song called "Since You've Been Gone" and it really kind of sums up all of our feelings sometimes. It says:
"Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again and again
Since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time.
I'm moving on"
I went through a long period of time where I felt loneliness set in every day and I couldn't figure out how to be happy by myself. And then there was a time in my life where I felt like I was so shut in by another person that I would die if I didn't get some space. And now I've finally gotten to the place where I feel like I am actually breathing for the first time. I'm finally ready to move along in life and enjoy the people who come in and out of it. I really enjoy my family and friends and I don't know what God has in store for me in the future. Maybe it is a forever-friend (aka. husband, yikes!) or maybe it is a child from another mother (adoption?). For now I'm enjoying my solitude and have learned that isolation is a scary thing, not a safe thing. I never want to go to Antarctica but if I ever have to, I hope you'll go with me!!
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